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Each month, we like to highlight a woman from Shepherd’s Gate who is turning her life around for good with God’s help. This month’s Woman of Courage is Brenda.

Brenda was raised right here in Brentwood, CA, and though she grew up in a fairly stable home, her father was an alcoholic. She married at 20 and had two children, a daughter and a son, by the time she was 24. Brenda’s marriage was a harsh one; her husband cheated with multiple partners, and just like Brenda’s father, he was an alcoholic. Even worse, he was physically abusive when he was drunk.

After Brenda’s second son was born, her husband began using meth and became even more violent. She worried about the impact this would have on her two older kids, who were now old enough to know what was going on. She decided to leave for good.

Brenda met a man who seemed to be the exact opposite of her husband a few years later — a friend of her brother’s named Ron. Ron was laid-back, and good with her kids. Though he didn’t work, he’d stay home with the children while she worked long hours. They had two daughters together.

Ron had a drug problem, and it eventually caused rifts between Brenda and everyone who truly cared about her. Everyone, including her two oldest children, knew that Ron was bad news. Everyone knew except Brenda.

She ended up isolated and alone with Ron and their two young daughters, living out of a car. Brenda began using drugs along with Ron for the first time, and she quickly fell into addiction. And she was too ashamed to let anyone know what was really going on.

Brenda’s older children, now young adults, tried to provide for her — both her son and daughter allowed her to live with them for periods of time while she tried to get back on her feet. Ron came too, but Brenda’s son saw Ron’s cruelty to her and kicked him out.

The separation didn’t last long, as Brenda went back to Ron behind her children’s back. The drug abuse continued, also behind her children’s back.

Her weight dwindled to 80 pounds, and her son said, “Something isn’t right. You’re not acting like my mom anymore. You need help.”

But Brenda wasn’t ready. One day she asked her youngest son for $20 cash. He refused her, and she slapped him across the face — her 21-year-old son. Thereafter, her older son asked her to leave his house, crying. He was heartbroken, but resolute in refusing to enable her addiction any longer.

The same scenario played out later with Brenda’s daughter — her daughter tried to help, but eventually she too was forced to ask her mother to leave.

Brenda went back to Ron, but when Ron began to hit her, she ran out of options. A friend recommended Shepherd’s Gate at Brentwood because it would allow her to have a place to stay with her two younger girls.

It was the beginning of a new start for her. Brenda’s children were incredibly supportive once she finally decided to get help, and with a huge smile, Brenda remembers, “They told me they were proud of me.” For once, she’d done something her kids could be proud of.

Brenda has been clean for over 2 years now. She has healthy relationships with her older children and is proud of them for doing the right thing, even though it was really hard. Her younger children are in school and are doing much better now that they have a stable home.

Brenda is a Woman of Courage who acted bravely because of her children. They refused to give up on her, and they also refused to enable her addiction — and that took a very special kind of courage. Brenda knows that her children are one of her biggest gifts from God.

Do you have people in your life who refused to give up on you, or who had to do something difficult to help you move forward? We may not have examples that are this dramatic, but most of us have had people in our lives who stubbornly fought for us when we were struggling. Feel free to share your story below, and don’t forget to tell your hero thank you!

Carla McRee
Associate Director, Shepherd’s Gate

Creative commons photo credit: Leonid Mamchenov

Children come to Shepherd’s Gate from all backgrounds imaginable. The Lord has blessed us with a trained staff who accept these kids unconditionally. In time they come to experience love and joy. And they begin to laugh and wonder like precious ones who are healing by God’s amazing grace.

Here is a poem written by Jenifer, our child-care supervisor. I recently found this in one of our older newsletters and was so touched I wanted to share it with you.

Children Come

They come in hurting,
Abused,
Neglected,
Needing love.

Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible tells me so.

People say they are autistic,
ADHD,
Mean,
They need love I say.

Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible tells me so.

They come from disorder,
Chaos,
Confusion,
They need consistency,
Order,
And love.

Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible tells me so.

Within a few weeks or sometimes days,
They are smiling,
Singing,
And listening.

Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible tells me so.

So many times
I have seen
Their eyes brighten when I walk in the room
Running over to give me a hug.

Jesus loves me this I know
For the bible tells me so.

Are there poems or scripture that especially encourage you? Please leave them as a comment here so we can share with our residents. Your words will mean so much.

Jen Harp
Director of Marketing, Shepherd’s Gate

Each month, we like to highlight a woman from Shepherd’s Gate who is turning her life around for good with God’s help. This month’s Woman of Courage is Josie — one of our October 2009 program graduates.

Josie searched online for information about a California women’s shelter and recovery program because she had hit rock bottom and wanted a new start. Little by little, alcohol and depression had completely taken over her life following a heartbreaking divorce and loss of her home, and she wasn’t able to function well enough to even care for her kids. She was sleeping in her car at night to avoid driving drunk.

Josie tried many times to get sober, but each time life got to be too much, she’d go right back to the alcohol to numb her pain. “I noticed the destruction but did nothing about it but drink and put myself in unhealthy places just to be near my drug. I lost everything.”

So she looked up Shepherd’s Gate and began to call. “When I walked in the front doors of Shepherd’s Gate I sensed a feeling of relief, like I’m safe now. I felt stronger, encouraged, and determined to work on myself.”

She came to Shepherd’s Gate to get sober, but Josie found much more here: she discovered how much God loves her. She’d never been to church as a young child, but now she finds new strength in the love and grace of Jesus.

“Believing in the Lord gave me something to live for. Everyday that goes by, living at Shepherd’s Gate, I’m feeling the Lord in my heart more and more which gives me the best warm feeling I have ever had. I don’t think about the bad stuff that happened to me the same way I used to, if I even think about it at all.”

“I am encouraged to move one day at a time knowing I am not alone, going through this journey of recovery . . . a new life.”

I never get tired of hearing stories like Josie’s, because they are such a clear picture of God’s love for His children . . . He never gives up on us.

Today, I ask you to keep Josie and other women like her in your prayers. It takes a lot of strength to overcome their addictions and find freedom, but we know through Christ all things are possible!

Feel free to leave Scripture verses of encouragement for the precious women who are in our program . . . we’ll share with those here as a reminder that they have others praying for them on their journey.

Carla McRee
Associate Director, Shepherd’s Gate

We want to take time to highlight some aspect of homelessness that our friends and supporters may not know about in a regular “I Had No Idea” post. The truth is that the face of homelessness is changing, and most of us would be surprised to know how much we have in common with people who are either facing homelessness or who are at risk of becoming homeless in the near future.

FORECLOSURES AND HOMELESSNESS…In October 2009, the New York Times featured an article about the growing number of Americans who have been forced to turn to shelters after surrendering their homes to foreclosure.

One woman they interviewed named Sheri used to run a shelter for homeless people. She never thought in a million years that she would one day check into a shelter herself.

Prior to the housing disaster and economic crises of the past two years, foreclosure was rarely a reason for people to be homeless, but now, according to a 2009 report by the National Coalition for the Homeless, at least 1 in 10 homeless people had lost their homes to foreclosure.

In our state, due to high unemployment along with the real estate bust, the incidents of homelessness due to foreclosure are even higher.

What often comes as a surprise is that many people who are homeless due to foreclosure were actually renters whose landlords fell behind on their mortgage payments.

Renters are particularly vulnerable because they are thrown out of their homes on short notice (most don’t know anything is wrong until the foreclosure notice goes up on the front door). Often they are living on lower income and have little savings.

Most people stay with friends or relatives as long as possible, even sleeping in their cars for months at a time before finally landing in a shelter. Many are humiliated and frustrated, not sure where to turn next.

When surveyed by the National Coalition for the Homeless, one woman wrote:

“This should not be happening. We were the middle class and now we are poverty-stricken. We had two cars, money in the bank and a reasonable mortgage. My husband is an electrician and simply cannot find a job anywhere. On September 12, 2008, my husband’s company sent everyone home. The company could no longer afford to pay their employees. We have had no money coming in since then and absolutely no prospects. Our savings is all gone . . . our home is being auctioned off. So much for the American Dream.”

This aspect of homelessness is a surprise to most people. Do you know of anyone who’s experienced this? What surprised you most about the problem? Does this change your perception of homelessness?

Please pray for our neighbors who are losing their jobs and struggling to keep their homes.

Steve McRee
Executive Director, Shepherd’s Gate

Creative commons photo credit: respres

Today’s Woman of Courage is Jana, a young woman who graduated from our Brentwood women’s recovery program this past October along with 5 other women. Because of the kindness of donors and volunteers, the encouragement of SG staff, and the grace of God, she has made big changes and is on her way to a new life.

Like many women who come to Shepherd’s Gate, Jana’s story turned tragic at a young age. As a young child, she saw things that forever shifted her ideas about what was “normal.” She saw abuse and was abused. An older cousin took advantage of her in the worst way possible when she was only ten years old.

Drug use and promiscuity soon followed. When she was 14, Jana quit school and moved in with a man who was 19, only leaving after he was unfaithful several times. Then she began using meth.

After leaving the man’s house, Jana moved back in with her grandparents and re-enrolled in school, eventually graduating. No one knew she was using drugs except her uncle, who was secretly manufacturing meth on the property and supplying her habit. It wasn’t until police raided her grandparents’ property — the only people who had really been there for her — that Jana kicked her habit and was clean for two years.

The next decade was filled with ups and downs — and the downs were very destructive. For years at a time, Jana would get off drugs and into a semi-stable relationship — even attending church and trying to keep it together for her two young boys— but when her dysfunctional relationships crumbled, so did her resolve, and she’d return to using drugs again.

For Jana, the breaking point came when she was trying once again to get things turned around. She was getting involved at church, and taking her two young sons along with her, but her boyfriend had lost his job and was beating her.

Jana’s cousin Eli saw her at church and he said he knew something wasn’t right about her. “My heart dropped when he said that to me because I knew he was right. My cousin had become an awesome man of God. It made me feel like I needed to get out of the situation I was in.”

Someone told Jana about Shepherd’s Gate’s programs for abused women in California, and she began calling once a day, every day, trying to get into our Brentwood or Livermore women’s shelter. Every day she would quietly pack up a few more belongings. When her boyfriend found out, he beat and choked her so violently that she ran from the house as he threw rocks at her.

We thank God for these women who successfully completed the program to graduate in 2009!

Jana arrived at Shepherd’s Gate the very next day, and entered the Shepherd’s Gate Recovery program. It wasn’t easy, but she faithfully worked her way through our 12-step program, parenting classes, counseling, and life-skills classes. She says, “Here, I’ve found a relationship with God and a healthy relationship with my family. On a Wednesday night at church I saw my cousin Eli again and he said I was starting to look like me again. It made me feel so happy! I thank God every day for bringing me to Shepherd’s Gate.”

Who is your Eli? Have you ever had a friend or family member say exactly what you needed to hear right at the moment you needed to hear it — and it helped make a big change in your life? Those moments are powerful, and we would love to hear your stories in the comments section below!

Carla McRee
Associate Director, Shepherd’s Gate

Christmas through the eyes of a child is always something special . . . the wonder of the Christmas story, the warmth of family, and the excitement of Christmas morning all take us back to a time when our own lives were a whole lot simpler.

But there’s something even more extraordinary about watching a child experience Christmas at Shepherd’s Gate. Before coming to our beautiful campuses in Brentwood and Livermore, most of the kids were used to receiving very little if anything for Christmas.

Many of these kids come from homes where abuse and addiction made survival a daily struggle. Some of the children are experiencing Christmas in a homeless shelter for the first time because their home was lost in a foreclosure.

Sometimes the children walk into Shepherd’s Gate like little adults . . . already world-weary and hardened because of the trauma they’ve experienced.

The good news is they don’t stay that way.

At Shepherd’s Gate, we see Christmas as a time where we can help these children be kids again. We can’t undo the hurts they’ve experienced, but we can give them a safe, secure environment. We can provide them with new clothes and a toy or two at Christmas. We can show them how much they’re loved — how much they matter to Jesus.

Take 11-year old Jordan, for instance. For him, Christmas at Shepherd’s Gate was the first time he and his siblings had all been together for more than a day or two in a row. A product of an abusive home, Jordan’s mother had started taking drugs when she was 11 years old, and her habit had torn the family apart until she came to Shepherd’s Gate and began turning things around.

I wish you could have seen Jordan’s face when his mother proudly brought out donated gifts she’d chosen and wrapped for each of her children. He almost looked confused, as if he couldn’t quite believe these gifts were for him. The way Jordan smiled at his mom as he opened his gifts — well, I can tell you what her favorite Christmas gift was.

Jordan and his brothers and sisters even heard the real Christmas story for the first time. He said it was the best Christmas he’s ever had! Imagine…his best Christmas ever, spent at a shelter.

This Christmas, as you give your own children the gifts you’ve carefully chosen and wrapped, I hope you’ll think of the children here at Shepherd’s Gate and pray for them — that the love of Jesus will begin to warm and heal their broken hearts, and that these little ones will get a new start along with their mothers.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love.

Joy to the world. The Lord is come.
~George F. Handel

What’s your favorite Christmas memory as a child? If you’ve ever spent Christmas here at Shepherd’s Gate as a volunteer or as a resident, what do you remember most?

Steve McRee
Executive Director, Shepherd’s Gate

Christmas is a pretty special time around here.

Each year, we set aside a room just for moms where they can “shop” for their children’s Christmas presents. They’re able to choose a few toys for each child, along with slippers, pajamas, socks and underwear, a jacket, and other clothing items. All of the items are donated to Shepherd’s Gate by generous people and organizations in our community.

Talia was one of those mothers who shopped in our Gift Room last year. Separated from her children because of an addiction she developed during her own horrible childhood, she finally had her children with her for Christmas at Shepherd’s Gate.

It was an amazing moment, watching her hand each of her children their Christmas gifts — that she picked out. Their eyes lit up with surprise that Christmas was for them, too. Everything was quiet for a second, until the first child began ripping into the paper… and then the excitement really began!

And in Talia’s eyes, there was something new — dignity and hope. Restoring self-respect is so important in the lives of people who are in domestic violence and drug recovery programs, and it’s a joy to watch it happen.

The family was together, safe and warm, and heard the real Christmas story for the first time. Now, that’s a Christmas!

Every year, we watch this special exchange — kids receiving, and moms being able to give — and our hearts get so full. I don’t think we’ll ever quite get used to this kind of Christmas joy.

We are so grateful for everyone who makes it possible for us to love people with God’s love at Christmastime. Thank you for your generosity, your donations of toys and clothing to women and children at Shepherd’s Gate, and of course, your faithful prayers. You really do make it a Merry Christmas around here.

Have you ever experienced an out-of-the-ordinary moment that helped you appreciate the real meaning of Christmas in a new way? We’d love to hear your stories in the comments section below.

Jen Harp
Director of Marketing, Shepherd’s Gate

Creative commons photo credit: phil_g

When you picture a homeless person, what do you see?

If you’re like many people, the first image that pops into your head is probably an older man holding a cardboard sign at a busy intersection.

But though there are many homeless men struggling to survive out on the streets, the face of homelessness has changed drastically in recent years — and it includes more families with children than ever before.

Families with children are one of the fastest growing segments of the homeless population. In fact, 41% of homeless people are families — that’s almost half! The National Coalition for the Homeless reports that, of every 200 children in America, 3 are currently homeless and more than 6 are at immediate risk of becoming homeless.

Their precarious living situation — always on the run — is devastating for kids, especially where education is concerned. According to the Institute for Children and Poverty, homeless children are 9 times more likely to repeat a grade, 4 times more likely to drop out of school, and 3 times more likely to be placed in special education than children who have a stable residence.

The need for shelter for homeless families is far outstripping the number of facilities equipped to help them, but Shepherd’s Gate is standing in the gap, providing a safe, warm, stable home to as many homeless children as possible, while also helping their mothers get back on their feet again as they heal from abuse and addiction.

When you picture a homeless child, what do you see? I hope you see what I do: a young life that’s extremely precious to God, a life that needs our love and protection to grow up healthy and happy.

It’s easier to help a homeless child than you might think. From volunteering in our Childcare Center, to tutoring, to donating a Christmas gift or two, there are all kinds of ways to help homeless families. Even a simple donation to Shepherd’s Gate can have a huge impact.

Talk to your kids, and ask them to share their ideas for how to help homeless kids this Christmas — their creativity and generosity will surprise you. Please share your family’s ideas in the comments section below!

May God bless you and your family this Christmas!

Steve McRee
Executive Director, Shepherd’s Gate

Creative commons photo credit: Atlanta Childrens Shelter

Each month, we want to share stories about women here at Shepherd’s Gate who, by the grace of God, are turning their lives around for good. Thanks to your prayers and support, women and their children get a brand new start — and we want to keep you posted on how they’re doing!

December’s Woman of Courage is Kristin. She is the oldest of five kids, and though she was raised in a broken, alcoholic home, she worked hard in school, earned great grades, graduated, and dreamed of college.
Becoming a mom at the age of 20 to twins changed her plans, though, and after leaving her abusive partner, she found herself alone and heartbroken, trying to provide for herself and her young family.

She worked hard at her job and she was able to remain strong — at least, it appeared that way. But she grew overwhelmed trying to raise the twins on her own, and as time went on she fell victim to the same cycle of substance abuse and turned to the same thing that had “helped” her own mother cope with pain: alcohol.

One drink became two and two became four, and she soon had several drinks just to get through the day. Soon her seven-year-old twins were looking at Kristin the way she used to look at her own mother. “Mom, when are you going to stop?”

Kristin knew she wanted to give her kids a different life than the one she grew up in, and so she decided to get help. Researching recovery programs led her to Shepherd’s Gate, and though it was really humbling for her to accept help and come to a shelter, she knew it was the right choice for not only herself, but also for her children’s future.

Kristin was deeply touched by the warm welcome she received from staff members at Brentwood — they believed she could change things.

Through the Recovery Classes, Parenting Classes, and Bible studies at Shepherd’s Gate, Kristin has left her addiction behind and is now able to be the kind of mother she always wanted to be to her twin son and daughter. We’re so proud of Kristin for having the strength to seek help when she needed it — and for giving her children a different childhood than the one she had.

Thank you for all your prayers and generosity on behalf of Kristin and her two wonderful kids!

We’d love to hear from you and pray for you, too. What impresses you about Kristin’s experience? What would you say to another woman who found herself in her same position? What Bible verses encourage you when you struggle? Please let us know.

Remember, Kristin found Shepherd’s Gate online. Encouraging words from friends like you could help the next “Kristin” who is looking to change her life. And please keep an eye out for next month’s Woman of Courage!

Carla McRee
Associate Director, Shepherd’s Gate

Brentwood and Livermore campuses need your help to restock the pantry!

Thanksgiving at Shepherd’s Gate was a wonderful time of thanking God and blessing others. During the holidays, over 80 women and children were served a warm meal of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie because of the generosity of so many big-hearted donors and volunteers. People who otherwise wouldn’t have had a safe, loving place to eat Thanksgiving Dinner were welcomed at Shepherd’s Gate with open arms.

It takes a lot of food and resources to feed that many people and our pantry is very low.

At Brentwood, our most urgent needs right now are:

• Fresh Fruits & Vegetables
• Frozen Meats (Chicken, Beef, Ground Beef, Pork)
• Milk
• Condiments
• Healthy Snacks
• Juice
• Mayonnaise
• Meat
• Sugar & Splenda
• Aluminum Foil
• Dishwasher Soap
• Paper Towels
• Ziploc Bags & 13-gallon black trash bags

The Livermore Campus currently needs these items most:

• Fresh Fruits & Vegetables
• Frozen Meats (Chicken, Beef, Ground Beef, Pork)
• Milk
• Bread
• Healthy Cereal
• Spaghetti Sauce
• Canned Fruits and Vegetables
• Paper Towels
• Cranberry Juice
• Paper Towels & Napkins
• Sponges

The next time you’re grocery shopping for your family, I hope you’ll add a few items from our “shopping list” to your shopping list. The families here at Shepherd’s Gate are blessed by your care for them.

If your church group or family has donated to our pantry, what was that experience like for them? What was memorable for you? We’d love to hear your suggestions on how to get families and church groups involved with filling our pantry.

Please leave your story in the comments section and don’t forget to pray for homeless women and children in our area. Thank you and God bless.

Jen Harp
Director of Marketing, Shepherd’s Gate

Creative commons photo credit: phil_g